I Lost It All
by theonlyxception
Summary: I did everything I could to keep them alive." She stated, her bottom lip quivering as all the information began to sink in. "I had hope that they would make it if I just held on for them."


This is the first oneshot of hopefully many I'll be writing for Code Black. I'm working on another one that should be up in the near future.

* * *

"What do we have?" Jesse inquired, in lieu of the next trauma that would be coming through the bay doors of the hospital in just a few short minutes.

"Car accident. Three critically injured, one seriously injured." The curly-haired nurse stated as she hung up the phone. "Three minutes out."

"Thanks, Connie. Page Dr. Hudson, Dr. Guthrie and anybody else we can spare. We're going to need all hands on deck for this one."

Connie nodded and picked up the phone again to page both of them, then called over the noise of the ER. "I've paged both Dr. Hudson and Dr. Guthrie. They're on their way down."

"Good. Thanks, Connie." Jesse called over his shoulder, catching the eye of the young resident as she passed by him. "Dr. Pineda. You're with me."

"Shouldn't we be paging Dr. Rorish as well?"

"She's taking a day off to be with her family." Jesse warned with a raise of his eyebrow as he snapped on his gloves. "Leave her be."

"Thirty-eight-year-old male; broken femur and ribs, pelvic fracture, punctured lung and facial injury." The dark haired EMT stated as they wheeled the patient into the ER.

"What do we have?" Dr. Guthrie inquired, shouting above all the other commotion.

"Car accident. Still have three other people coming in."

"That including the person who hit them?" Dr. Guthrie checked the patient's eyes with a flashlight.

"No. Surprisingly he only came out of the wreck with scratches and bruises. He's being booked in jail as we speak."

"Alcohol involved?"

".18 at the scene." The blonde haired EMT piped up as they pushed the gurney into center stage.

"On my count...1...2...3." Dr. Guthrie stated as they carefully moved the patient from the gurney to the bed.

Dr. Hudson whistled just as the ER doors opened again. "What do we have?"

"Ten-year-old boy in cardiac arrest; intubated at the scene." A dark haired EMT barked out. "Possible fracture to his spine, as well as possible internal bleeding."

"Wendy, I need ultrasound in here." Dr. Hudson told a thin nurse with short black hair. The nurse nodded before disappearing through the crowd of medical personnel and returned with the machine, just as the doors opened again.

"Thirty-six-year-old woman, became unresponsive as we were loading her into the ambulance. A scraggly haired EMT blocked the gurney. "She has a possible rib fracture that most likely punctured her spleen."

"Said she was one of yours." Officer Moreno offered, following behind the gurney. "She held on long enough to help me stabilize her family and get them here."

"That's our girl." Jesse's eyes shined proudly as Leanne was wheeled in next to her son.

"Leanne, if you can hear me right now. We're doing everything we can for you and your family. You just promise to hang in there." Dr. Hudson whispered in her ear.

"Dr. Rorish is the patient?" Dr. Pineda glanced over her shoulder as she helped work on Leanne's husband.

"Dr. Pineda." Jesse did his best to redirect her attention to him. "You have to believe Dr. Hudson and his team are doing everything they can for Dr. Rorish."

"Aren't you scared right now?"

"I am." Jesse admitted as he took a quick gaze at Leanne through all the commotion. "But this man in front of you is Dr. Rorish's husband, and he is your priority right now. Not Dr. Rorish and not her children. Him."

* * *

"How is she?" Officer Moreno inquired as soon as Dr. Hudson met him in the waiting room, five hours later.

"Stable."

"And her family." Officer Moreno inquired hopefully, but he was met by a masked and darkened look from Dr. Hudson.

"Not good, I'm afraid. That's about all I can tell you."

"Does she know?"

"We have her on some heavy medication to help control her blood pressure and pain. As soon as she wakes up we'll fill her in."

"Do you think I can see her?"

"I'm not sure that's a very good idea."

"You're all worried for one of your own. I see it in your eyes." Officer Moreno said rather convincingly, his uniform still unchanged and spotted with blood and oil from the accident. "I was with her for nearly twenty minutes before the ambulance was able to get to them. It felt like two hours that I was lying on that asphalt, consoling a grieving mother and wife. I need to know that someone lived from that horrific crash."

Dr. Hudson thought about it for a few seconds. "Five minutes."

"Thank you."

"Lindsey, can you take Officer Moreno up to see Dr. Rorish, please." Dr. Hudson waved down a nurse with sparkly green eyes and chocolate brown hair pulled up into a high ponytail.

"Of course, Dr. Hudson."

"Make sure he doesn't stay long." Dr. Hudson advised, patting the desk with his hand on the hard desk top.

"Will do."

"Thank you, Lindsey."

"I live to serve." She laughed, turning towards Officer Moreno as they headed towards the elevators. "Follow me."

"Thanks."

"Mhmm. So how long have you known Dr. Rorish?"

"Just today, actually."

"Ah, so you were the officer who helped Dr. Rorish and her family." She looked over his uniform, specifically focusing on the stains before focusing back on the gravitational pull of the elevator.

"How long have you known Dr. Rorish?"

"About five years." The elevator came to a stop, the metal doors making a grinding sound as they stepped into the recovery ward.

"Hey, Connie." Lindsey greeted an older nurse who was sitting behind the nurse's desk. She looked to be in her late thirties and sported black spiky hair that seemed to go well with her maroon colored scrubs.

"Lindsey."

"What room is Dr. Rorish in?"

"102. Why?"

"I have a quick visitor, per Dr. Hudson's request. Anything we need to know before we go in?"

"She's pretty sedated, so she should be good. Just don't stay long." Connie looked skeptically at Officer Moreno. "Are you family?"

"He was the officer who saved Dr. Rorish and her family." Lindsay interjected as he opened his mouth to respond.

"Oh. I'm sure she's very grateful for what you did for her family."

"Thank you." He nodded, not knowing what else to say.

'We'll be a few minutes." Lindsay gestured for her to follow him down the hall, which allowed him to escape any further questioning.

"You'll have to excuse her. We're still a little shocked that one of our favorite doctors and her family got injured."

"I can tell that she means a lot to all of you."

"Dr. Rorish has done a lot for the community and for us." Walking down a side hall, she nodded to the first door on the left. The oak door had a small window, which allowed them to see three beds on each side of the medium sized room; pale yellow curtains drawn on all but one of the beds.

"How do I know which bed she's in?"

"Third bed on the end." She pointed to the left side of the room.

"Thanks." Slowly turning the knob, it opened with a click as he stepped inside. As he did, the beeping of machines filled his ears as he walked past patients who were hooked to wire and tubes. When he reached the back of the room, he pulled back the curtain to see Dr. Rorish, her face pale and her dark hair sprawled across the pillow.

He approached her carefully, finally pulling a chair up to the side of her bed. "Hi, Leanne. It's Officer Moreno. I came to make sure you were okay, which of course now I see that you are. I'm not supposed to stay very long, but I wanted to see for myself that you're still here. You hang in there, okay? I'll come visit again soon."

* * *

"Neal." Leanne whispered dryly as her medication began to wear off. "What happened?"

"You were in a car accident. Stay still." Dr. Hudson snapped on some blue gloves and checked her bandages. "I want to make sure you're healing okay."

"My family? How are they?"

"Don't worry about them right now." He stated, tenderly changing her bandages.

"I've been through this enough times. What is it that you're not telling me?"

Snapping off his gloves, he pulled up a chair. "You sure you're ready to hear this?"

"I don't think there's ever a good time."

"Okay." He sat down with a sigh. "Your husband came in with a broken femur, broken ribs, punctured lung and facial injury. Upon further inspection, we found he also had a lacerated spleen."

"Did he make it?"

"Despite our efforts, the damage was too severe."

"What else?" Leanne requested, her eyes misting with tears.

"When Charlie was brought in, he was already unresponsive and in cardiac arrest." He mentioned of her ten-year-old son. "He had a fracture to his c1 and c2 vertebrae, which ultimately would have left him paralyzed."

She held a hand up to stop him from talking further about it. "And Spencer?"

"Spencer sustained damage to his stomach and kidneys, as well as a traumatic brain injury."

"So, just like that, my whole family is gone." Leanne stated numbly as she threw the covers back.

"I'm sorry, Leanne."

"Don't. Just don't." She sat up slowly with a painful groan. "I want to see them."

"No, absolutely not." He moved his chair so he was sitting right in front of her.

"Then I will just have to go myself."

"Hang on-talk to me. You have a rib fracture and just had surgery to repair your spleen. There is no way I'm letting you go down there right now."

"I did everything I could to keep them alive." She stated, her bottom lip quivering as all the information began to sink in. "I had hope that they would make it if I just held on for them."

"Hey. You did everything you could, I have no doubt about that. I know they could feel the love you had and still have for them as both a mother and a wife." As he said those words, a tear trickled down her cheek. "You held on because it was your duty to take care of them until the very end, and until this point, you always put your family first. Now I'm asking you to put yourself first; be the very best you can be before you go down there and see them."

She wiped at her cheek. "I make no promises."

* * *

Leanne had manged to keep her promise for the rest of the night and was as equally surprised when Neal told her they were going for a ride that morning. They made their way down the elevator to the basement of the hospital: a place every person dreaded going to after losing a loved one, but a place she could no longer avoid if it meant saying one more goodbye to her husband and children.

Pushing her to a familiar door, he wheeled her into the room where her family was lying side by side under white sheets. She stood, using the metal table as leverage, as Neal backtracked towards the door and watched behind cold glass as she uncovered her husband and then her two boys.

"This wasn't supposed to happen this way." Tracing the scars along his cheek and forehead, her face screwed up in pain. "You weren't supposed to leave without me. How am I supposed to do this when I know you're gone?" Her legs buckled as she leaned against the metal table to stay upright.

Neal hovered by the frame of the door, every part of him ready to jump at the opportunity to catch her if she fell. "Leanne." He spoke softly, as she turned a listening ear.

"I'm okay." She whispered, making her way to her youngest son, who had scraggily chocolate brown hair and long eyelashes like hers. "Did you know he was supposed to have his first sleepover this weekend?"

"I think you forgot to mention that one." He joked, which brought a smile to her face only for a moment.

"He was so excited."

"And you weren't?"

"I was. As much it was meant my boys were growing up, I was looking forward to having a night alone with my husband." She smiled again, but it didn't quite reach her eyes as she lip quivered at the memory. "Every morning he would ask us how many more days it would be until he could go to his best friend's house."

"When Spencer went to his first sleepover, he was about five. We got a call that he had thrown up all over the bed."

"So, basically you expected the same thing would happen with Charlie?"

"Heaven's no." Leanne gave a small laugh. "Charlie was a social butterfly. Something tells me he would have done just fine."

"Just like his mama."

"Yeah. Just like me." Pulling the sheet back up on each one of them, she sat back in the wheelchair with a drained sigh and he took this as permission to wheel her back upstairs.


End file.
